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A trial going away....

I just copied this from lds.org. This morning was the first time in a LONG time I have been able to just open up my scriptures and read in the quietness of my home. I had just finished running and stretching and I sat on my bed and picked up my dusty scriptures that I haven't read in probably a year. When I read these words the spirit came to me strong and I just kept reading. These words mean a lot to me and I am grateful for the opportunity I had to read them. I feel as a load has been lifted and my faith in HIM has finally giving me strength to go on as I should.
14 For I, Nephi, was constrained to speak unto them, according to his word; for I had spoken many things unto them, and also my father, before his death; many of which sayings are written upon mine other plates; for a more history part are written upon mine other plates.
15 And upon athese I bwrite the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.
16 Behold, my asoul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me aknowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath avisited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I dangry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the benemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou aredeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine benemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I bask cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.

22 days

22 days NO SODA!!! I am so proud of myself and I can feel my flubber finally shedding. I could even put my favorite highschool shoes on yesterday. Now, to get rid of the dang Halloween candy that is haunting me everyday and start eating healthier. I haven't weighed myself because I feel that won't do me any good and it will probably stress me out even more... Anyways, that's about it here. Just getting ready for Sierras birthday and for Jakes dad to come out in a few weeks. :)

12 days!

Well, since I started my diet I have gone 12 days w/out soda and the treadmill is kicking my ace!!!! I have made a goal to run a 5K on Thanksgiving. Whether I do that or not I'm still getting my ace kicked by this treadmill... It just keeps calling me and when it does I challenge it to go faster and faster. I started off with a 20 minute mile(which I know completly sucks) and I am down to 14:44. For me that is pretty dang good considering that my 20 I did on Thursday and it is now Sat. I did 2 miles today one earlier in the morning in 15 and one just a few minutes ago in 14:44. So,,, I'm still working hard. The best thing is my soda consumption. I am so proud of myself and I am determined now to not drink soda again. It is still VERY hard dealing with it but w/ my Crystal Light I feel so much happier. :) Anyways, that's the deal w/ the drinks. Now I think I'll start working on the food. If anyone knows any good HEALTHY recipes... Please feel free to share them with me.

Dieting once again...

My weight has definitely discouraged me from doing a lot of things lately. My family has worried about me, I have worried about me. I'll be honest with you all because I don't like to keep things in (most of the time)... About a month ago I felt a little lump in my stomach which worried me half to death. I am super paranoid about it but some seem to think it's just a fatty Lipoma? I'm good w/ that but never feeling anything like that it makes me think 100 times of my health. I was drinking WAY to much soda and eating WAY to much crap. I don't deal well being a mother of 3. It IS hard, it IS stressful. I LOVE my children more than life and I would do anything for them. So about a week ago I quit soda cold turkey. IT TOTALLY SUCKS!!!! I am doing what I can to keep away from it. I hate driving past McDonalds now. I flip it the bird everytime I go by it nochalantly that is... I curse it now! I have been TRYING to make better choices in what I eat. Yesterday Sierra asked me yesterday if she could have a Coke. I looked at her and said Hunny, Mommy doesn't drink Coke anymore. She looked at me like I was an idiot and I felt bad! I don't want my kids getting into bad habits like me. So anyways, I've gone 7 days w/out my soda and am trying to keep it up for as long as possible. Hopefully forever.

A visit from Granna and Great Mimi!!!

It's not everyday that you can get an 89 year old on a plane and hop out to Chicago for the weekend. Well, we surely did and it was AWESOME!!! We were able to spend a few days with Granna and Mimi and we had a blast. The weather was wonderful and we were able to just catch up, relax, and have a bit of fun along the way. Mimi and Granna read a lot of stories, Granna even jumped on the trampoline and GET this... Mimi (who is 89) went down our slide. I guess if she's gonna die, she's gonna die doing something fun!!! Here are just some fun pictures of our fun weekend. I was able to get some nice pictures of the kids and of Mimi too which is great!

Ready Set GROW!!!

Little Miss Molly Grace is such a joy to have in our family. Yeah, she may bight at Sierras ankles and attack the kids ALL of the time but regardless the kids treat her so kindly and are best friends with her. Here are just some pictures to show how much she has grown since being with us.

BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

The kids started school last Thursday and they are doing so well! I'm excited that they both have really good teachers and that the kids enjoy going to school. It has been a blast being home with Sierra and Molly. We enjoy just hanging out doing puzzles and enjoying mother daughter things. I'm sure she is going to get bored pretty soon so I'm looking into putting her into a class for an hour or so during the day. I have been getting ready for another yard sale this week. Not expecting to do very well but I'm hoping to get rid of SOME stuff. I'm probably going to sell everything for $5.00 or even FREE!!! Those stupid McDonalds Happy Meal toys have taken range over my basement and I NEED to get rid of them. So yeah, lots of Happy Meal toys for FREE HERE!!!! Jake is still enjoying his job. I LOVE my job!!! We are getting LOTS of new lines in and I wish I could buy everything for the kids! That's about it!!!

Little Miss Molly Grace

This is Miss Molly Grace. She is our wonderful new addition to our family and we love her so much! The kids are very good w/ her and love to play w/ her.

More summer fun 2010

This summer has been lots of fun. The kids and I took off the last week of July and I drove by myself to New Hampshire with them. They did AWESOME going out there. Can't say the same on the way back though... UGH! It was the worst 18 hours of my life I think... While we were there visiting my mom we had so much fun. The kids always enjoy going to Grannas house. The boys are able to get up early and eat pancakes and then go get eggs. We didn't spend a lot of time at my moms house though. Mostly spent time at Mimi's house in the water and boating. Jake and I (well I) decided to scrape some of the ucky paint off moms house and we painted that over. James has started jumping off the dock and Jaren has started jumping off the ladder at the lake. My little buddy Chris and his wife Amy and Mia (the dog) came up to visit and while the kids were fishing and I was snorkling a snake swam over my back and I am still traumatized from it but I'm ok... Chris and I went snorkling and caught fish with nets. That was pretty fun! He actually caught a good size Bass that we could have eaten but didn't. Next year Chris, next year.... ;) We also went Crab fishing on the Cape which was awesome. I'm soooo addicted! They are better than Lobster and fun to catch. We picniced on Pitcher Mtn. and picked blueberries w/my mom and dad YES, mom and dad! Mom took James sailing on the sailfish and we were going to race but decided last minute we weren't going to. I hope we can do it next year. Got to catch frogs and salamanders up at my Godmothers house and do a bit of hiking. Went hiking up to Joggernaut Lake and saw lots of newts. Had lots of fun being w/ my grandmother and stopped at every craft store in NH and VT. Realized I'm not much one for nicnacks and such. Just would have bought everything I could w/ a moose or a bear on it.

Sweet Summer time!

Just wanted to post a few of our summer pictures. Haven't really done anything fun yet but we are heading out east on Tuesday to spend 3 glorious weeks with my wonderful family.... So until then not much then and then lots of posting and pictures! Right now I'm mostly painting and painting and well I'm just painting! The kids are having fun though and loving the new house.

Today ohhhh today....

Today was kind of a somber but bittersweet day for me. I thought about the passing of my grandfather this morning and how shocked and upset that the Lord would take him away from me so fast without me being able to say goodbye. Last year I felt like I lost a huge part of my life. I would always turn to my grandfather if times were tough and he was always good at giving me advice. This whole year I was upset because I felt the doctors could have done more to help him. I often go to sleep and wake up thinking about him and how I miss him so much. Sometimes when I'm driving and my kids talk about Pa I will just be sad and start to cry. I know the pain will continue but I know it will subside as the days come closer knowing that I can be with him again. Today I tried to go through the day as fast as possible and try to do things that would make me not think about the passing and I did good until I started writing and reading a wonderful note my husband wrote to me. I felt I needed to express my love for my grandfather because he is/was a very important part of my life. I am grateful for the gosple of Jesus Christ and that he is willing to let my family be together forever. I am grateful that I can be with my family forever. I never thought my life would be like how it is and I am so incredibly grateful for the trials that I have gone through because I feel it only makes me stronger in the end. I know that I am Jesus loves me and that He forgives me for the mistakes I have made. I am who I am and I can't change what I have done. I have a loving husband who takes care of me and is proud to be my husband. I love him with all that I have and all that I can give. I want him to know that and I want the whole blogosphere readers to know that. We struggle daily but I know that when I put my head on the pillow at night I know I have an eternal husband who loves me and will never judge me. I am proud to be a mother of three beautiful spiritual gifted children. I WILL always try to do my best to be a better mother. I know I have my faults and I loose patience with them but at night they are my precious angels sent from above. I always have to thank the missionaries for blessing me with the gospel. They are my light and love and I admire the sacrifice and love they have for the gospel. They have made my life a better life. YES YOU JEN since I know you are one of my blog readers ;) ;). In closing I love my life, I love who I am. I won't ever change who I am. I'm ME!

poem for my papa

Today I thought about you today I felt to say
Today I knew I missed you today you went away,
To live with Heavenly Father, to watch me as I live,
To teach my children how to love and care and teach them how to give.
Today I missed you as always when I cooked, and cleaned and played.
Today I thought about you each time I stopped and prayed.
Today I tried to make time fly as fast as it could be,
Today I was sad because you couldn't be with me.
Today I know you're up there smiling and telling me I'm doing just great.
Today I wish I could fish with you and you would help with putting on the bait.
You always did the dirty work and would always fix the boat. Even if it was sinking it would always come afloat. You helped me when you were healthy, you look so frail but so strong. Everytime you were working I would hear you hum a song. My memories of you are clear as clear as they can be. I just wish just for one more memory that you were here with me.
Today I closed my eyes, and saw your glowing face but then I have to remember you are in a special place. A place that is called Heaven, it's not so far above. I know that always and forever I will always feel your love.

~MAY~

As I sit and think about this month I think of what has happend in the past and what is to come. I am celebrating my 30th Birthday which I'm not sure how I feel about. I'm excited but was always hoping for something AWESOME to happen but feel it won't. We'll see! I think of my life and all the birthday parties I had growing up as a child and remembering what fun times I had. I think my most favorite was when we celebrated at the horsefarm and I was able to ride a horse. I always loved costume parties and would always try and get away with wearing my dance recital costume and have my mom yell at me because she didn't want it to get dirty before the recital day. I used to have scavenger hunts and play mother may I and wear cute dresses as a girl. Now that I'm older I just don't even know how to party! I had a good life. Now my little man is turning 6. He is the light of my life. He is everything that I ever wanted in my life. He tells me I'm beautiful, he tells me it will be ok, he'll even tell me if my shirt makes me look fat or my butt looks big. James is a special spirit sent from God. I never knew being a mother would change my life in so many ways. I try so hard to be the best I know I'm not I'm not even remotely close to being there but I try so hard and just want the best for my children. As we celebrate I am just grateful he is mine. I have such a testimony in motherhood if I don't in the gosple at least I have my motherhood. I know that God has sent this little man to me for so many reasons. He wants me to learn patience, understanding, honesty, trust. I'm proud of James and who he is becoming. I'm sad to be celebrating the passing of my grandfather this year but I love who he is and was and what he will be. He was my everything. I miss him everyday. I cry for him everyday. I know that one day I will be with him. I hope that oneday when I have the courage I can write more about him because he was such an amazing person and he accomplished so many things. I also love May because I love celebrating Memorial Day. A lot of my family members have served for our country and I am blessed to remember them and thank them for what they have done. We will also be moving soon and life has been crazy trying to pack and get ready. We aren't moving far but it's always a pain to just get up and move on again and again. I know one day we will find our home and make it our own but for now we keep renting and figure out our life and what we want to do.

James's concert

A few weeks ago James had his first program at school. It was awesome! The scenery and the way it was put together was excellent. I was very proud of him. Oh and please ignore my singing. The song is a bit catchy!

Update!!!!

Very exciting to say that I will be updating our blog with lots of color hopefully soon! Lot's of stuff going on and very exciting. Kids are on Spring break right now and we've been having a blast except for the fact I'm exausted! Well, must get going for I have to head to work and haven't even thought of preparing dinner soooo... Kids are probably snacking on whatever so yeah gotta go! Had a blast today at the Cosley Zoo though.

We "like to"

So, I was reading my friends blog and I thought this was something really fun to do so we'll see.
Enter your name in quotes with the words "likes to" in Google. i.e. "Judy likes to". Check out the first 10 finds. Do they accurately depict the things you like to do?

1. Judy likes to dance (yep)
2.Judy likes to read Anne-Rice books (who?)
3. Judy likes to play tennis (used to)
4.Judy likes to have a pen and a pencil when she takes notes or does class work (sometimes)
5.Judy likes to shop (when I have money)
6. judy likes to party (used to)
7.Judy likes to travel, read and ride horses. She is also teaching herself to paint and play the piano. (if I had money)
8.Judy likes to rally & play points with her students, using technique and sport psychology as her foundation (not so much)
9.Judy likes to take pictures at farmer's markets (if I'm at my moms)
10.Judy likes to have fun, and so do we!! (amen)

Jakes "likings"
1.Jake Likes to Play Games (some just not Monopoly)
2.Jake likes gravy more than me (it's a possibility)
3. Jake likes to characterize problems as “opportunities.” (sure)
4.Jake likes to take baths in the sink and doesn't mind the occasional misting. They are a joy to have around! (all the time)
5.Jake likes to do lots of things. (who doesn't)
6. Jake likes to talk handball strategy with fellow players and will yell at himself after missing an easy shot (Jake has NEVER played handball)
7.Jake likes to play around (which sometimes he does kind of get too rough)
8.Jake, likes to think of it as a game of Chess, mainly because they think of themselves as Knights in shinning armor, and their constituents (huh)
9.Jake likes to pretend he's James Bond in his own home. (yeah, it's kind of scary)
10.Jake likes to listen to Jack Johnson (we don't know him)

James
1. James likes to write about a child's interaction with nature and animals. (yes)
2.James likes to bring his own style of depression and gloom (no, he's very happy)
3.James Likes To Shoot Stuff (pretend)
4.James, "likes to look at very young girls but has never sexually touched a child. ... ( I want to delete this very much)
5.James likes to move it move it (constantly)
6.James likes to push (but knows he shouldn't)
7.James likes to disrupt play by sneaking into passing lanes and even blocks shots on occasion (he's not that advanced yet)
8.James likes to socialize and will use any excuse to celebrate with friends (ahhh yeah. WHERE'S THE CAKE?)
9. James likes to be there an hour before, at about 9 a.m., so he can stretch (run James go)
10.James likes to talk; so if you get him on the phone please ensure you turn the volume . ( ohhhh yeah)

Jaren
1.couches,Jaren likes to fall asleep on them. (sometimes)
2.Jaren likes to play and he is getting much better, but he gets tired quickly and he is much smaller than his teammates.(no, he never runs out of energy)
3.Law and Order,Jaren likes to watch while he eats his lunches (nope)
4.Jaren likes to joke that he isn't bisexual, he's just a "people person". (can I delete this one too?)
5. JAREN LIKES TO SKATE (yeah)
6.Jaren likes to take him to the "sixth level of pain (never)
7.Jaren likes to eat (certain foods)
8.Jaren likes to sleep in the cold (yeah, I agree)
9.Jaren likes to let his dog out of the kennel so he can go in (when we get a dog)
10.Jaren likes to flip around in the shorebreak (yeah, he likes water)

Sierra
1.Sierra likes to see the trains on the tracks, but mostly picks them up and examines them closely. (she is very strong)
2.Sierra likes to hang out at the laundromat and take off her clothes (in my laundromat)
3.Sierra likes to hunt, fish and blow things up when she's home in Montana. (maybe when she's older)
4.Sierra likes to jump off of high things and land on her knees (ouch)
5.Sierra likes to do reverse crunches (maybe when I'm not looking)
6.sierra likes to dance (oh yeah)
7.Sierra likes to see how low she can make her voice - it's entertaining (not yet)
8.Sierra likes to "line dance," and she wants to live out on some "property." (as do I)
9.Sierra likes to drive out to the horses(if we could find some I'm sure she would love to)
10.Sierra likes to read and play with her dog(when we get a dog)

Update

Well, it's been awhile since I've blogged and who knows if anyone ever looks at this thing anymore but I'll give you the rundown of our "simple life".
Granted my life was simple before it has become even more simple. Just trying to have fun and get by the days and not stressing out what has to be done around the house and just keeping happy.
I am loving my job at Gymboree. I just wish I could have more hours there. I am still loving my job as a full-time mom but it gets rough sometimes and it's nice to have somewhere to go to vent and have a social life.
James had pnemonia a last week and has been on the mend. He's been trying really hard at school and I pray everyday that he continues to do well. He's had his ups and downs and it worries me in the long run but with faith I know we will get through it.
Jaren and I had a fabulous few days down in Florida. It was such a short trip but we got to do so much. We saw alligators, and lots of birds. He really loved the beach and we got to do some shelling while we were there. We went to the Shell Factory and had a blast. Jaren loved feeding the ducks and enjoyed riding on some of the rides. He loved being with his great grandma and they did a LOT of snuggling which he loves and she loves just as much. It just seemed like a piece of my happiness was missing. My Papa... Ohhh how I miss him!
Sierra is growing so fast I can't believe it! She's in her big girl bed and had one bad night but she is doing so great! She is talking like crazy.
Jake is enjoying his job still and continues to do a great job.